Blue and Green
by RomanogersSwan
Summary: Series of one-shots. Latest: After Natasha is shot whilst on the run from the government, Steve fears he's missed his chance to tell her how he feels.
1. Chapter 1

"Nat, Naaaaattttttttt." Laura whined. "What?" Nat said, her head snapping back to Laura.

"Ok, who or what has caught your attention?" Laura asked, her hands on her hips and smirking. "What? No one has caught my attention." Natasha answered, hoping her face didn't look too suspicious. Laura looked at her questioningly, sipping her beer. "Ok. I know what it is. You have the hots for Cap!" Laura exclaimed, "Shut up!" Natasha hissed, her gaze slipping to Steve, who was making Lila a milkshake, and back. "Ha! You didn't deny it! OMG you like Cap!" Laura said triumphantly.

Ok, you see, Natasha didn't just like Captain America, she loved him. Ever since they met on the quinjet she knew she felt something. Then they were partnered up after Loki tried to destroy the world. But that one conversation in Sam's guest room changed everything for her; she had asked him if he would trust her to save his life and he had said yes. That simple conversation changed everything for her, in that moment she knew she loved him. The only problem was she had never told him how she felt because she knew he didn't like her like that and he was now dating the Blonde. Now here they were at the Barton's celebrating Clint's birthday and Laura had figured it out.

"Ok fine! I love him! So what? He doesn't feel the same way," she paused, her gaze flicking back to Laura, "And before you ask how I know that, it's because of the blonde practically clinging to his arm!" Laura noticed the fact that Natasha was looking daggers at the blonde hanging of Steve's arm, he looked like he was struggling to put the finishing toppings on the milkshakes because of the blonde. "Wait, are you telling me that you love Steve and yet you set him up with that blonde agent?" Laura asked, not quite believing it. Natasha nodded and sighed. "Auntie Nat! Auntie Nat! Come look at the milkshake with whipped creams, sweets, donuts, chocolate sauce and cookies Steve made for me!" Lila shouted. Natasha laughed as Laura shook her head at Steve who looked very guilty. "I'll be over in a sec." Nat called back to Lila, "Tell anyone, including Clint then I will kill you." Natasha hissed playfully, Laura nodded feigning the scared look that she gave Natasha. Then Natasha turned in her heel and went to talk to Lila, Steve and the Blonde girl

"That does taste good." Natasha admitted to Lila, who gave her a big grin. Turning to Steve who was now free of the blonde, although she was still standing at his side, she asked innocently, "Make me one, solider?" Smirking at the blush creeping up his cheeks, Natasha's gaze flicked to the blonde who was glaring at her like she had just kissed Steve. "Sure. What flavour do you want?" He asked, "Umm I dunno. Whatever flavour Lila has, it's really nice." Steve nodded before raiding the Barton's fridge, "It could take a while if you want all the toppings Lila has." He told her, head still in the fridge. Natasha laughed as Lila tugged on her arm towards where Tony was having an animated conversation with Clint. "No you fucking-"

"Ok, let's go back over to Uncle Steve, Lila. Uncle Tony is using some bad words." Nat told her, taking Lila's hand and walking back over to Steve- who was now completely free of the blonde. Before Natasha could place Lila on the kitchen counter she heard Laura calling for her, "Lila! Cooper! Bed time! All the Avengers will be here tomorrow! Come on" Lila looked disappointed before hugging Steve and Nat and saying good night. "So, you finally took my advice and called blonde over there." Nat asked gesturing to the blonde who was talking to Maria. Sitting on the kitchen counter she smirked as the Blonde shot her a glare. "I'll have you know she's very nice and her names Sharon Carter." Steve told her with a blush. "I didn't ask if she was nice, I asked if you called her." She stated, "So did you?" Handing Nat her drink, Steve answered, "No. She ran into me and dragged me to get coffee." Nat nodded, "Right. When I wanna date guys I drag them to get coffee, then I become a sloth and hang onto their arms." She joked, Steve laughed and replied, "Well at least I don't seduce guys for my line of work." Nat felt her eyes burn as she placed her drink on the island and ran to her room, followed by Steve's shouts.

* * *

"Good. She's gone. I never really liked " Sharon said, coming up from behind Steve, sipping on the milkshake he had made Natasha. "Really Sharon?" Steve asked, the look he gave her made her flinch, "I just upset my best friend and all you can do is voice your jealousy?" Sharon looked exasperated, "It's just she is always working with you, taking up your time. I hope she's ok, but I now I get you all to myself."

"She's my partner, I have to work with her." Steve gave her an incredulous look before detaching her fingers from where they had molded onto her arm and running after Natasha. Sharon stared at him, hurt on her face. _You aren't spying. You're just following him to make sure he stays loyal. AND so that bitch of a red head doesn't make a move on him._ Sharon told herself as she followed Steve up to Nat's room.

* * *

"Nat? Hey can I come in?" She heard Steve ask. "Yes." She replied before curling back into a ball under her covers. She lay there for minutes before she felt her bed dip and Steve's hand on her shoulder. Instantly she felt less tense, by she was still mad at him. "Nat, I am so so sorry. I didnt think about what I was saying. I'm sorry." Steve told her, "I know Steve, I know. It's just I hate myself. I hate my past. I hate the fact that I trained in Red Room. That I can't have children." She paused, realising that only Fury knew about that, she curled into an even tighter ball (seriously though how that even possible?). "Oh God. Nat I didn't know. I-" he stammered, for once at a loss for words. His best friend, the one girl he truly loved, his partner couldn't have children. His heart broke for her. "Come here." He said quietly. Natasha uncurled herself and leaned into his side, she felt him press a gentle kiss to her forehead. They stayed like this until they heard a gasp at the door. Pulling away from his embrace Natasha moved towards the door and swung it open. She was faced with a fuming Sharon, "What the hell? That's my man!" Sharon screamed, "Sharon, shut up! You'll wake Lila and Cooper!" Steve told her, coming to stand behind Nat. Before either Nat or Steve knew what was happening Sharon had slammed Natasha and was now punching her. Natasha just stood there bewildered. "Sharon stop!" Steve ordered, moving to stand between his insane girlfriend and his best friend. "What are you thinking? There are children in that room! I'm just apologising to my friend" Steve told her.

Natasha shoved past both of them as she heard sobbing coming from Lila and Cooper's room. Pushing the door open she called, "Hey, you guys ok?" No reply, walking into the room she sat on the edge of Lila's bed. "Did you guys hear or see anything of what just happened?" Nat asked quietly. "Why was that blonde lady punching you and why did you just stand there?" Cooper asked, his voice waving. Lila just sobbed and crawled into her Auntie Nat's outstretched arms. "I'm sorry you had to hear that. I'm sure Steve has taken Blonde back downstairs, or he's kicked her out." Nat told them, a smile tugging at her lips at the thought of Steve beginning single. "You like him." Lila stated, "What?" Nat asked, confused. "You like Steve. I know. You look at him differently to the way you look at Dad or Tony." Cooper said, flicking on the light and moving to sit next to Nat. Lila looked up at her with tear stained eyes, clearly expecting an answer. "I don't like him" Not a lie, but not completely truthful either. Cooper looked at her, one eyebrow raise as if he knew she wasn't telling the complete truth. "You are just as observant as your dad Cooper. Ok if you must know I love him. Happy?" She said, her tone sad. "Why do you look sad, Auntie Nat? Does he not love love you back?" Natasha laughed at Lila's innocence. "Lila, honey, you can be in love with someone and not have them love you back. That's what it's like with me and Steve. I love him so much and-" Natasha paused when she heard something moving outside the room. "Who was that?" Lila asked, her eyes wide with fear. "Probably no one. I'll go and check." Nat said, stroking Lila's hair. Peering out into the corridor she noticed Steve's bed room door shut quickly. "Go back to sleep. I need to talk to Steve." She said flicking off the light. "Yay! Uncle Steve and Auntie Nat are getting together!" Lila squealed before she was hushed by Cooper. "I'm pretty sure we aren't getting together. I'll see you tomorrow morning. Good night Lila, goodnight Cooper." She said before shutting the door.

"Steve?" Nat called. "Steve? Can I come in?" No reply, "Ok, I'm coming in." She warned before opening the door. She was met with a bewildered Steve, who had a gash on his head. "Oh my God! Steve! What happened?" Rushing over to him she reached for the tissues on his bedside table and started trying to clean the cut. Steve's hand grabbed her wrist and he looked at her, blue eyes met green. "You love me?" He asked. Natasha nodded, "I know you don't feel the same, otherwise you wouldn't have dated Blonde psycho." Natasha said, getting up to leave. Steve grabbed her hips and pulled her back. Capturing her lips her murmured, "I love you too."

Natasha jerked away, her eyes wide. "Wait, what?" Steve chuckled at her confused expression. "I love you Natasha. Always have, always will." He said kissing her nose, "Well then, I love you too Steve." She murmured, interlacing their fingers and laying back on his bed. "Well, I'm going to bed and if you stop me I will kill you!" Steve laughed and lay down next to her. Turning of his lamp, she turned and nestled her head into his neck. "Goodnight love." He murmured into her hair before going to sleep.

* * *

Groggily, Steve and Natasha walked downstairs to find Tony, Clint, Bruce, Bucky, Sam, Rhodey and Maria passed out in various different places of the room, Pepper, Laura, Lila, Cooper, Wanda and Vision were all sitting at the dining table, eating breakfast. They all turned to face Steve and Nat, whose hands were entwined, "WAIT! What?!" Pepper screamed as Lila ran up and gave them both a hug. "Pepper, darling, not so loud. WHAT? RED AND CAP?! HOLY SHIT!" Tony screamed, "Language!" Steve told him. At the screams and shouts of both Tony and Pepper the rest of the passed out Avengers awoke, rubbing their heads and staring at Steve and Nat. "Yes, before anyone asks any questions- we are together, Steve broke up with Sharon and Tony- before you ask no we have not been intimate. And I'm hungry, so when I've eaten I will answer questions. Steve do what you want, but I want to kill Tony if he teases us!" Nat declared before grabbing some toast and sitting next to Wanda on the couch. Steve moved to sit next to her and kissed her.


	2. Authors Note

**Hi guys!**

 **Im gonna add different one-shots to this. They'll all be Romanogers though.**


	3. Chapter 2

"Come on Nat. Tony and Pepper will be pissed if we're late." Steve called from the hallway. Natasha groaned and trudge out of the bedroom, looking beautiful as always. "I'm so tired, why did we do that?"

"It was your idea!" Steve told her, taking her hand and walking out to the coffee shop. "Steve. I want to ask you something." Natasha asked hesitantly, biting the lip lightly, "Sure, what is it?"

"Can we try not to mention last night, I mean, it's just…" Her voice trailed off and she blushed. "Was I not that good?" Steve asked and she laughed before saying, "No you were amazing. I didn't know you could do that." Natasha reassured him and kissed him softly before they continued.

Natasha looked at Steve and hoped he could stay with him forever, _God she loved him. I need to tell him but I'm not sure he feels the same way as me._ She thought and smiled, hoping she would find the perfect way to tell him.

Steve looked at Natasha and smiled, hoping he would tell her want he wanted to tell her since they first got together 3 months ago in his hospital bed when he was on the brink of death.

 _She had never felt so scared, she knew she liked him as more than friend and now he was laying in a hospital bed, stab wounds covering his chest. She felt tears spill down her face as the hospital nurse ushered her out of the room saying that waiting hours were over._

 _Steve felt her comforting presence disappear from his bedside. He tried to open his eyes but something stronger than him was forcing them down. He missed her instantly; he loved her not as a friend should. Steve didn't know how much time had passed but he heard a small clatter to his left and then small hand take his own. He felt lips against the back of his hand and heard her murmur something, "Come back to me Steve. Come on, I need you."_

 _Natasha didn't know how long she was there but she disappeared when the lights outside Steve's room flicked on. "I'll be back I promise." She whispered and slipped out of the room the way she got in- the vents. She stayed in the vents until she was sure no one would come in and check on him again, then she dropped to the floor and sat on the chair next to him. "Ok, I know you probably can't hear me, and it's a long-shot that you feel the same way but that's way I'm telling you now so I know I've told you but you probably won't have heard, so here goes- I like you. I like you as more than a friend and you mean so much to me and I need you to come back to me, either as friends or something more, but yeah… just come back to me." She whispered and leaned forward and kissed his forehead. At this point Steve forced his eyelids open and smiled at her._

 _Steve looked at the shocked expression and smiled again. "Please tell me you didn't hear that." She asked quickly, "I did. I heard all of it." Steve told her and held her wrist lightly when she looked like she was about to leave. "Where are you going?" He asked gently and let go of her wrist when she sat back down again. "Um, I'm sorry I shouldn't have told you that. It'll just ruin our friendship." She told him sadly and tears streamed down her face. "So what if it does? I was hoping we could go on a date when I get out of here." He told her sheepishly and blushed slightly. "Really? You like me?"_

" _Yeah." He said, it wasn't a lie but he knew that if he told her he loved her she would freak out and leave. Natasha smiled brightly and kissed him softly. They turned when they heard Tony gasp and run down the hospital corridor to the waiting room. "I'm gonna go hide in the vents and we can make it seem like Tony is crazy." She told him and kissed him again before climbing up into the vents and hiding._

 _Natasha hid just in time as Tony came charging down the corridor, Pepper, Maria, Clint, Vision and Wanda in tow. "I'm telling you! She was here!" Tony told them and then looked towards Steve, "Where is she? I mean where?" Steve smiled and asked whom he meant. Just then Steve saw Natasha's fiery red curls at the back of the group and smiled slightly. "You know who I mean! Natasha!" Tony told him. "Yes?" She asked at the back of the group. "Oh good Steve's awake!" She exclaimed happily and barged her way to the front of the group and sat in the chair next to his bed. "I saw you two kiss!" Tony screeched and everyone laughed when he walked out of the room, grumbling about not going mad._

 _Natasha took Steve's hand and held it tightly. "Wait, so is Tony mad or are you two together?" Pepper asked curiously. "Tony is mad but not about this. We just thought we could mess with him." Steve said with a laugh. They all nodded and filed into the room._

They continued to walk to the coffee shop, hand in hand until Natasha couldn't hold it in anymore and it just slipped out, "I love you." She saw Steve's whole face brighten up and he asked, "Really?" Natasha nodded shyly, "Good, because I love you too." Natasha had never felt so happy in her entire life. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.

"Come on, let's go. Tony and Pepper will be waiting." Steve said and they walked into the coffee shop. They ordered coffee and sat down with Tony and Pepper. They caught up with the couple. When they had finished their first drink Natasha asked Steve to go and get her another drink.

"Seriously Nat? My legs are so sore." Steve whined.

"Why do you think I'm asking you to get me another drink? My legs hurt too and I did more than you!" She pouted and Steve reluctantly agreed.

"Fine but it's your fault." She stuck her tongue out at him playfully and he laughed.

"Nat, why do your legs hurt?" Pepper asked suspiciously.

"Yeah Nat." Tony said smugly. Natasha laughed and opened her mouth to reply when Steve came back with their, she shut her mouth quickly.

"So, Steve, care to tell us why both yours and your girlfriend's legs hurt so much today?" Tony asked. Natasha and Steve looked at each other before blushing. Tony spat his drink out and practically shouted, "OMG! Did you guys have sex?!" Which earned him a slap from Pepper. "Ouch, but seriously did you?"

"Last night, no. Past couple of weeks, I don't kiss and tell." Natasha said with a wink at Steve.

"Ok, so what did you do last night that made your legs hurt so much?" Pepper asked.

"Oh, um. We were bored I wanted to do something we have never done before so we went to a jump street and bounced around for 3 hours." Natasha said smoothly. Both Pepper and Tony looked towards Steve, who they both knew had trouble lying and raised an eyebrow. Steve nodded and they all start to laugh.

"Everyone is going to know about this!" Tony exclaimed between laughs. Steve looked at Natasha and smiled at her. He took her hand and got up, "We're gonna go, I'm actually quite tired." Nat said and kissed Pepper and Tony's cheeks and walked out back to Avengers tower.

Natasha awoke and crawled out of their bed. She changed into evening wear- since every Sunday the Avengers all get together and have dinner. She wore a simple floral top and dark denim jeans. She sat at her mirror and looked at Steve. Checking the time she thought now would be a good time to wake Steve up or they would be late for dinner. "Steve." She said in a singsongy voice. "Mhmm." He grunted as Natasha trailed her fingers down his jaw line. "Come on, we have dinner with everyone."

"Fine." He grumbled and changed quickly. "You ready to go?" Steve asked her, "Yes. Oh, we will probably get teased for the trampoline park at dinner." She told him as they walked to the elevator. "Oh."

"Are you ok with that?" She pressed the button for the dining hall and lent back against the wall, her arms crossed and smirking.

"Yes. I'm ok with that but only if you are." Natasha nodded and took his hand in hers. "I love you Steve." She told him as the elevator doors opened.

"I love you too." They both stepped out of the elevator and were greeted by laughter. They smiled at each other and sat on the sofa. "Hey you guys." She heard Wanda say from the opposite sofa. "Hey Wanda."

"Ok, so I heard from Tony and Pepper that you spent 3 hours jumping up and down at a trampoline park. Is it true and if it is Tony, can we get a trampoline park in the tower?" Wanda asked.

"Oh my God! I want a trampoline park so bad. I'll get Pepper on board and then we can do it!" Tony exclaimed happily. "So, is it true?" Vision asked, sitting next to Wanda as she reached for his hand.

Natasha looked at Steve before answering, "Yes, its true."

"What, we were bored!" Steve defended them, making everyone laugh. "Ok, what are we doing for dinner?" Bruce asked. "Pizza?"

"Yes!" Natasha exclaimed and laughed, "I love how our Sunday meals have deteriorated from roasts to take-out's and pizza." Thor said which made everybody laugh.

Peter ordered pizza and they all sat down and watched a movie together.


	4. Why?

**Trigger warns- self-harm, so, don't read it if that makes you upset.**

She didn't want to talk to him, no- see him. She was a complete mess. Her hair was a bird's nest, her eyes were red and puffy, her perfect porcelain skin stained. And now she was stuck in a safe house with him!

"Natasha, are you ok?" She smiled to herself as she heard Steve's worried voice float through the door.

"Yeah. I'll be out in a few." She pulled on the only top she had- a short sleeved one- and immediately regretted her decision. She pulled on sweatpants and looked at herself in the very tasty, dusty mirror. The top showed off all her scars and she wished she'd brought a jumper.

It was stupid- the fact she didn't want anyone to know. They would worry. It was nothing. It was her way of coping; she'd been doing it for as long as she could remember. What else was there to say? God- she hoped he wouldn't judge her or change is opinion of her.

She took a deep breath and walked out of the bathroom, into the bedroom. It was a large room; honestly you could fit two beds in here. She continued to walk towards the double bed in the middle of the room.

Halfway there she tripped over something and fell to the floor; her legs had tangled in a paper-thin blanket. She groaned and untangled her legs.

She realised that this was Steve's bed. "Steve!" She called, still sitting on the floor.

"Yeah?" He called, walking into the room to find his bestfriend- a lethal assassin might he add- sitting on the floor, arms and legs crossed, pouting.

"Do you need help?" He asked and she shook her head.

"What is this?" She asked, pointing at his 'bed'. His gaze travelled to her scarred arm but he didn't say anything, much to Natasha's relief.

"My bed?"

"Why is it literally pieces of paper?"

"Cos I want you to have the be." It was true; he wanted her to be comfy because that's what she deserved after the Red Room. He didn't know when he started to develop such strong feelings for his fiery redheaded partner but he did.

"Nonsense! I'm tiny we can both fit in the bed." She held her arms out for him to help him up. Steve complied and pulled her into a hug. Reluctantly she pulled away and gave him a quizzical look.

"What was that for?" Not that I'm complaining she added silently.

Steve ignored her question and traced the scars that laced her arm, "What are these?"

"Um…scars."

"Nat…"

"It's nothing. Seriously Steve." She added when he raise an eye at her.

He nodded and followed her to the tiny kitchen He watched her try and fail to reach something on the top shelf. He smiled, walked up behind her he asked, "Do you need help?"

"How dare you insult the vertically challenged?" She scolded, her tone playful. He nodded,

"Ok then." And walked to the bathroom to change. He changed in a matter of seconds and walked back out to find Nat STILL trying to reach the tin of soup.

She turned and saw him standing there, "Help me!" She whined. He helped her get the food; they helped each other make the food before sitting on the bed and eating in silence.

"Natasha?" Steve broke the comfortable silence.

"What?"

"Where did you get those scars on your arms?"

"People get hurt in our line of work. Stop asking!" She snapped and snatched his bowl away from him. She stomped into the kitchen- leaving Steve hurt and pissed. She walked into the bathroom and got ready for bed. Steve walked past her while she was coming out of the bathroom.

She flopped down on the bed and curled in on herself as tears threatened to spill. She tried and failed to blink them away.

 _What's wrong with me? I should be able to tell the man I love- wait what?_ She'd never thought her feelings for Steve were so strong. Fuck it! She'd tell him; about everything. About her scars, her feelings for him. If she got rejected then so what? She was the Black Widow for crying out load! She shouldn't be scared of anything.

She turned when she heard Steve emerge from the bathroom. The bed dipped and Steve turned his back on her, now was he chance. Flicking off the lamp by her beside she called his name. No answer.

"Steve?" She whispered again but he ignored her. She felt tears prick her eyes and she felt like she had been slapped.

 _Of course. He's mad at me for not telling him about my scars. Of course he won't or will ever love me._ She thought, the tears streaming down her face like a waterfall except they burnt. "I'm sorry." She whispered and got off the bed.

She moved into the tiny kitchen and rested her head on the doorframe. "How could I have been so stupid?" She whispered. Forgetting she wasn't alone she grabbed a glass from the cupboard.

Screaming, she threw it at the cupboard opposite her. She walked over and knelt down in the shattered glass. The glass pricked and cut her legs and knees but she continued anyway. The tears from her eyes dripped onto her hands and mixed with the blood and glass.

"Nat?" Steve's voice came from the doorway. He looked at her, a crying bleeding mess on the floor and his heart broke. What could've driven the love of his life to be like this?

"Go away." She choked out. Walking over to her, Steve knelt down and picked up Natasha.

He carried her to the bed; he placed her down gently before going and getting the stuff to clean her wounds. He came out to find that Nat had curled up into a ball.

"Nat." He whispered, his breaking into more pieces than the glass. "Why did you scream and throw the glass?" Worry dripped from his tone.

"It's nothing, leave me alone." She pushed away his hands and saw his face turn from worry to hurt. She turned her back on him and pretended to be asleep.

After five minutes she heard him whisper to her 'sleeping' form, "Goodnight Natasha. You don't have to tell me. You'll tell me when you're ready. Till then I'll be here for you. I love you."

Natasha's heart missed a beat and her eyes widened he loved her? Wiping away silent tears, she took a deep breath and rolled over to him. She put her head on his chest and wrapped her arms around him. She felt him stiffen at her actions- clearly unsure whether she was awake or not.

"I-I love you."

Steve lifted his head and looked down at her as she looked up at him. "Really?" He beamed and she kissed him in reply.

"I love you." They whispered between kisses. When they broke apart Natasha lay her head on his chest.

"I self-harm. I do it as a way to cope. I've been doing it since I got out of the Red Room and joined SHIELD. I'm sorry for not telling you but I didn't want you to worry. If you stay with me, I think you can help me stop." She whispered.

"Only if you stay with me." He promised.

Natasha smiled, "I promise." She kissed his chest.

"Goodnight doll." He placed a kiss atop her head.

"Goodnight my love." She whispered and Steve's arms came around her as she drifted off.


	5. Missed Chances

He sat there watching, waiting for her to wake up. He should've been quicker, if he had then the love of his life wouldn't be lying there, unconscious because of a stupid mistake he made. If only he pulled the trigger sooner.

"You gotta stop beating yourself up about this, man. It's not your fault." Sam said as he walked into the room and sat in the chair next to his friend.

"It is my fault. I never told her I liked her, let alone loved her." He admitted.

"Wow! You finally admitted it!" Sam exclaimed, clearly happy.

"If it makes you feel any better, I think she loves you too." Wanda said and walked into the room as well.

"Yeah right! I'm just a kid from Brooklyn. Why would she go for someone who only looks like this because of a super-serum? Someone who is the reason she lost her family?" He asked as Wanda perched on the arm of the of the chair Sam was sitting in.

"She'll be fine. She's the Black Widow. She's been through worse." Wanda said whilst looking at her unconscious enemy turned best friend.

"How do you know? She's been like this for two weeks!" Steve snapped and winced when Wanda flinched. "Sorry."

"It's fine, we're all worried." Wanda said and helped Steve up. "Come on. You need dinner. Sam can watch over her." Steve nodded and together they walked to the small kitchen.

"How do you know she 'loves' me back?" Steve asked once they had their dinner in front of them.

"I can just tell." Wanda took a bite from her spaghetti, "Sam can too. She looks and treats you differently to how she treats us. I have been in love and I know what it looks like, and I love an AI." She laughed and Steve had to join her. "When she wakes up, tell her how you feel. You don't want to miss your chance." Wanda said simply. They finished there meal in silence.

"I'm gonna go relieve Sam. See you tomorrow." Steve put his and Wanda's plates in the sink before hugging her and wishing her goodnight. He walked into the bedroom he once shared with Sam. "Go get some sleep. I'll watch over her till morning."

Sam nodded, wished him goodnight before stepping out and into the room previously occupied by the unconscious Natasha. Steve sat down next to Natasha and took her hand.

"Natasha, I need you to wake up. I never got to tell you so many things. I never got to tell you how beautiful you are, both inside and out. That you are my best friend. I never got to tell you how important you are to me, how special. I don't know what I would do if you don't wake up. You're my world Natasha. I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry I wasn't quick enough. I shouldn't of hesitated, I'm sorry, I really truly am. The worst bit is I never told you I loved you. I love you so much Natalia Alianova Romanova. If-no- when you wake up I'm gonna tell you all of this again. Despite what Wanda says, I know that there is only a very tiny- like 12%- chance that you love me back but I still want to tell you. I don't want to miss this chance with you again." He whispered, blinking back tears.

He kissed her hand before getting off the bed and settling into the chair on the opposite side of the room. He saw the hall lights flick off and two bedroom doors shut. "Goodnight Natasha. I love you and I'm sorry." He whispered before drifting off to sleep.

Steve awoke to find a beautiful red-head asleep on top of him, her head buried in the crook if his neck. He smiled and wrapped his arms around her waist before settling down to sleep.

"Told you." Wanda whispered and smirked as Sam handed her some dollar bills.

"Come on, he needs sleep." He whispered and the pair went back to their rooms.

The light filtered through the crappy blinds covering the dusty windows. "Steve?" Natasha's eyes fluttered open, she smiled when she saw that Steve had wrapped his arms around her, keeping her close. "Steve?" She whispered again, no answer. "I love you too." She whispered back before struggling out of his embrace and getting into the shower.

When she emerged she saw Steve still sitting in the armchair as before but his head was now in his hands. "Hey, you ok?" Steve's head shot up and he blinked rapidly. She walked towards him and he shot up and hugged her so tightly she thought he would snap her in half.

"I thought it was all a dream. I thought you died." He whispered into her neck. "I thought I imagined it." His voice trailed off as he studied her. "I imagined it, didn't I? Of course I did. Why would a girl like you ever love a guy like me?"

Nat smiled, "I love you." She put a finger to his lips to shut him up.

"You didn't imagine it. I heard everything you said. I love you too. I don't know what I would do if you died. You are so cute, caring, handsome. You are my best friend, my partner, my love. It's not your fault, don't blame yourself. You haven't missed your chance. I love you so much Steven Grant Rogers." Suddenly she was taller and her arms were wrapped around his neck.

"I love you." Steve whispered before kissing her. Natasha broke the kiss when her stomach rumbled. "Come in. Let's eat." Steve said and led her to the kitchen where Sam and Wanda were already eating breakfast.

"Nat!" Wanda exclaimed and ran up to hug her friend.

"Are you feeling better?" Sam asked.

"Yeah." She said and walked back to stand in front of Steve, wrapped his arms around her waist.

"So you guys got together?" Wanda asked and led the couple to the dining table.

"Yeah." Natasha nodded and grabbed a bowl of cereal and began eating it.

"Slow down. You'll give yourself indigestion, love." Steve laid a hand on her arm.

Natasha turned to him, "I haven't eaten properly in two weeks." She snapped playfully.

"Ok, ok, but don't complain to me when your stomach hurts." Steve laughed and so did everyone else.

"Fine." Natasha whined and ate her breakfast slower.

They spent the rest of the day talking, Natasha snuggled into Steve's side. They discussed what their next moves would be, since they were still in the run from the government.

"I love you." Natasha whispered before falling asleep.

"I love you too." Steve said and kissed her forehead.


	6. You broke your promise

"Be safe, come back to me in one piece. I love you." Natasha called as Steve ran off to the jet.

"I will, I promise. I love you too." He shouted back and blew her a kiss. The ramp lifted, and just like that, he was gone.

Natasha sighed, she was going to miss her boyfriend. Not that anyone knew they were together, she felt like a bitch for asking him to keep it a secret but that was just how she wanted it. She walked back to the tower and flopped down on the couch.

She basically had the entire place to herself, everyone else was out shopping for Christmas because it was some kind of special day that meant there were loads of discounts. Black Friday was it called? Nat chuckled to herself, they were all extremely stupid for going out in a time like this. They were sure to be spotted by the press.

She'd much rather do her shopping online, then no one would realise that it was the Black Widow that was buying a pregnancy test. Speaking of, she thought it was best to check now so she had the perfect gift for Steve, if she was that is.

She walked upstairs to her floor and grabbed the bag the test was in. The three minutes felt like the longest of her life. Her phone beeped and she walked over to the sink, where test lay.

'Positive' the test read. She was PREGNANT, she was going to have a child, Steve's child! She smiled happily before throwing the test in the trash. She wanted to tell someone, needed to tell someone. Only a couple more weeks then Steve would be back and then she could fell him for Christmas.

She walked out of her floor and towards the med bay. "Hey Cho?" She called.

"Yeah?"

"Do you have to time for a quick scan?" Natasha walked farther into the room.

"Yeah. I have to finish something quickly but come in."

"Hey Nat." She heard someone else call.

"Sharon." She said through gritted teeth, she knew how much the Blonde agent wanted Steve and him declining her didn't do anything to douse the fire and approach him less.

She looked closer at Sharon and saw she was holding an ultrasound photo. "Whose is it?" Natasha asked, genuinely curious.

"Steve's. We slept together last month."

Natasha had to force back a laugh. Obviously it wasn't Steve's, they'd been together that month, and for the past year. "Oh wow. Congrats then." She hid her stomach. "Cho? Do you mind if I speak to you? Alone?" She added with a pointed look at Sharon.

"Of course. Sharon, come back in a month or two to get another scan." Cho said as the blonde walked out of the room. "What did you want to talk about, Nat?"

"I need an ultrasound."

"Why?" Cho asked but nodded and led Natasha to the examination table.

"Why else do you think? I think I'm pregnant." She snapped playfully. "I took a urine test and it said positive but I don't know."

"Ok, let's check." Cho said and squirted some of the gel onto Natasha's stomach.

"Shit that's cold." Natasha gasped.

"Sorry." Cho said and moved the probe over her stomach. A small faint beating of a heart could be heard. Cho moved the screen and pointed to a small bean. "There's your baby, Nat." Cho said and printed off two photos. "Who's the dad?" Cho asked help Nat wipe the gel from her stomach.

"Erm... Captain Rogers. I know how this looks." She added when Cho raised and eyebrow. "Sharon's baby is not Steve's. I've been dating him for a year. We're keeping it a secret. We."

"Woah, Nat. Stop. I believe you. Steve obviously loves you, from the way he rushed you in here and stayed by your side all night after you were shot last month."

"Oh." Natasha smiled and jumped off the table. "This stays between us?"

"Yeah, of course." Cho said and Natasha thanked her before walking out of the room.

* * *

Just like that, Natasha's whole world crumbled. KIA.

Steve Rogers, killed in action. Killed by HYDRA.

KIA.

She felt Wanda's hand on her shoulder but she shook it away.

"I'm sorry you never got to tell him how you felt." the Sokovian teen whispered.

KIA.

Natasha nodded and stumbled out of the room. He'd promised he'd be back by Christmas. It was a week before Christmas and Fury just told them Steve was dead, killed in action by HYDRA, they haven't found the body. She got to her floor and sank down by the door. She placed a hand on her belly and tears fell from her eyes at the news she never got to tell him.

"Nat? Are you ok?" Cho called through the door when she had finished knocking.

Natasha nodded, "I'm fine."

"No you're not," Wanda called, "We can hear you crying Romanoff, you have to let us in."

Natasha sighed, she knew her friends weren't going to leave until she let them in. Quickly, she wiped her eyes and opened the door. "See? I'm ok."

"No you're not. Please, Nat, talk to us." Wanda begged as she led them to the sofa.

She looked between the girls, she knew she could trust them. "He promised," She whispered, wiping her eyes, " He promised he'd come back to me safely and in one piece. I never even got to tell him." She finished, looking at Cho.

"I'm sure he knew how you felt." Wanda reassured her, rubbing a hand up and down her back comfortingly.

"He does. I just never told him that I'm pregnant, with his kid."

Wanda gasped and hugged her friend. Cho smiled, "At least you have something of his."

"Wait when? How? Why'd you keep it a secret?" Wanda bombarded her with questions.

"I wanted to keep it a secret because, well, neither of us have ever had a proper relationship before, and eh, I don't know. I wanted him to be mine for a bit. I didn't want questions." She explained and wiped her eyes. Her friends nodded and excused themselves when JARVIS told them they were needed. Natasha locked her door and curled into a ball on her bed, shaking with sobs.

* * *

"Merry Christmas, Agent Romanoff." JARVIS said as Natasha blinked her eyes open to another day without Steve. She groaned and rolled onto her back.

It was a week after Fury had announced to the team that Steve had been killed and thinking about him still hurt. She had barely left her room and saw nobody apart from Wanda and occasionally Cho. And now it was Christmas, the day she had originally planned to tell Steve he was going to be a father. She felt tears prick her eyes before hearing a knock on her door.

"Nat! Come on." Wanda begged, "Let us in. It's Christmas."

Natasha staggered out of her bed and opened her door.

"Merry Christmas Nat!" Wanda hugged her tightly. Nat nodded and Wanda felt tears on her shoulder. "Hey come on now. Steve wouldn't want you to be sad." Wanda whispered and helped Nat sit on the couch. "They think they're getting closer to finding Steve's body. So we can have a proper funeral and you can say goodbye." Wands explained.

Natasha looked at her with tear stained eyes.

"You need closure."

Natasha stared blankly at the Sokovian teen. She nodded before walking into her bathroom. When she emerged she found Wanda had laid out some clothes for her and a note telling her to come downstairs. She changed into the sparkly silver top with leather pants before styling her hair and putting on makeup.

Steve would've wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her neck whilst telling her she didn't need makeup, and that she was beautiful without Steve wasn't here, he died whilst taking out a HYDRA base.

She heard a knock on her door and a young voice calling her name. She dabbed at her tears before she opened her door.

"Auntie Nat!" Lila screamed and wrapped her arms around Natasha's waist.

"Hi sweetie. Where is everyone?"

Lila looked up at her aunt. "They told me to come and get you. Me, mommy, Cooper and Nate are staying till after New Year. Isn't that great?" Lila exclaimed happily, missing Natasha's watery eyes. Great, another happy family!

"Yeah, yes it is." Natasha took Lila's hand and walked downstairs with her.

"Merry Christmas!" Tony said as he handed everyone presents. They opened them and found Iron Man themed weapons. Everyone laughed apart from Natasha, who stared at the one unopened present that would've been Steve's.

Wanda noticed this and reached over to hold her friends hand. Wanda handed everyone their presents, leaving Natasha out, telling her she would give her the present when they were alone.

When everyone had opened their presents Wanda took Natasha's hand and led her to her room. "Ok, whilst you were in your room I went to see where Steve was killed to see if I could find anything of his." Wanda took a deep breath before continuing. "They were still looking for his body but I found this and kept it." Wanda handed Natasha a dusty, bloody, red, white and blue shield.

Natasha held it close to herself as tears slipped down her cheeks. She looked up at her friend, "He really is dead isn't he?"

Wanda nodded, "I'm so sorry Nat." She pulled Natasha into a hug.

"He wouldn't of left his shield if he was alive. If he was alive he'd come back to me." Natasha sobbed, her hands clutching at the shield. Natasha held onto the shield tightly as she and Wanda walked downstairs.

"Woah, Red, where'd you get that?" Tony asked.

"Wanda got it for me. She."

Wanda cut her off, "I wanted her to have something of his because I knew how much she wanted to tell him she loved him."

* * *

In the week between Christmas and New Year the Avengers needed to assemble once, to destroy a HYDRA base in New York. None of the Avengers were harmed and Natasha fought with Steve's shield, which attracted some press when they were walking back to base. They managed to shame them off before Natasha broke completely.

Clint tried to help Nat to her room but she shook him off. Natasha stormed to the training room and, still in her catsuit and covered in blood, began to train with the shield

Eventually, she stopped throwing the shield and started training with her glocks. Despite her vision being blurry, she ended up getting a bullseye every time. She turned sharply when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Nat? It's me." Wanda slowly pushed the gun away from the bridge of her nose.

"Auntie Nat?" She heard Lila ask from behind Wanda.

"I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry." She said and scurried our of the room. She heard Lila calling her name as she followed her up to her room.

"Lila please go. I need to get ready for dinner." Natasha begged through the door.

"Auntie Wanda told me to cheer you up. Please come out, everybody out here loves you." Lila begged.

 _"Nat, baby, open the door for me." Steve begged, his head leaning against it._

 _"Why? Why would you say that? You know about me past." She whispered._

 _"Because it's true. Come on, please baby. Open the door for me. I'm not leaving till you do." Steve pleaded, tears forming in his eyes. Maybe she didn't feel the same._

 _He felt the lock click and he moved away to see Natasha, standing in the doorway with tears in her eyes and on her cheeks. "Did you mean it?"_

 _"Of course. Of course I meant it. I love you Natasha."_

 _Natasha stared him, "Я люблю тебя." She whispered after a while, her voice breaking. She laughed when Steve wrapped his arms around her and kissed all over her face._

 _"Get used to me saying that, because I love you and so does everybody else."_

"Lila, honey, please just go. I'm tired." Natasha pleaded, tears streaming down her face. She hoped her niece wouldn't be as stubborn as her father or Steve and actually listen to her.

"But Daddy and Auntie Wanda said to cheer you up."

"Lila just." She stopped when she felt the need to throw up. She charged to her bathroom and ignored Lila banging on the door. She flushed the chain and wiped her mouth. She swung the door open and looked down at Lila. "I'm fine, please just go. I need sleep."

Lila nodded and scuttled down the hall. Natasha let out a strangled sob and walked back to her bed. She dropped down and buried her head in the pilllwos. She began to cry as she thought about her Steve.

* * *

Natasha slipped into a silver shimmery dress with a slit up to her mid thigh. She straightened her hair before loosely pinning it up. She applied dark silver eyeshadow and a dark red lipstick before looking at herself in the mirror.

She heard her door open and she turned to see Wanda, wearing a dark scarlet dress. "You look beautiful." Wanda said and held out her arm.

Natasha took her arm and they walked out of her room. "How are you feeling?" Wanda asked, a small smile on her face.

"I've been better. I wish Steve could see me." Natasha whispered.

"I know. He would've said you were the most beautiful person in her ever seen." Wanda paused as they entered the party. "Then he would've turned down Sharon and you would've gone and sat at the bar and Steve would've gone to sit with Tony and Peps. You would've made eye contact across the room and smiled. You would've danced twice before parting ways again. You would've left the party separately but end up in the same bed, you asleep on his chest."

Natasha inhaled sharply and tears formed as she listened to the young girl speak.

"I'm so sorry Nat! I didn't mean to upset you."

"It's fine. It's nice to have an idea of what to do." Natasha said and declined the drink she was offered. Natasha led Wanda to the dance floor and they danced for a while before walking to sit on one of the couches.

It was 10:30 when the mood of the party changed completely. JARVIS announced that someone had entered the tower but wouldn't say who. Everyone started to whisper and Natasha pulled out a tiny pistol from her bra.

"I'm not even gonna ask." Wanda laughed.

Tony walked around the guests, assuring them they wouldn't be harmed. They heard footsteps and everyone turned to look at the doorway.

Natasha dropped her gun is disbelief. She let out a gasp before running towards the figure. "Steve?" Sharon asked and stepped towards him.

Steve ignored the blonde and locked eyes with Natasha. He stepped forward and caught Natasha as she ran into his arms. Everyone turned to stare at the couple.

"Don't do that again!" Natasha punched his chest. "I hate you! Never do that again!" She shouted tears streaming down her face.

"I'm sorry Nat." Steve pulled her back into a hug, his hands cradling her head.

"I hate you! I hate you! Don't scare me like that!" She whispered.

"Ssh, ssh. Come on upstairs, we can talk there." Steve led her upstairs, to his room.

"Why didn't you come back to me sooner?! I needed you!" She looked down at her stomach, "We needed you." She cried, her hands hit his dusty suit. She looked at her hands and saw blood. "Is that blood?" She began removing his suit.

Her punching had reopened an old wound. "Oh, God. I'm so sorry." Natasha rushed to get her first aid kit. She started to clean his chest before trying to stitch it up.

Steve grabbed her hands gently and kissed away her tears. "Baby, I'm ok. I survived, I'm alive and bleeding on your beautiful dress." He laughed shakily and hugged her.

"I'm so sorry. I should've looked for you." Natasha cried.

"Love, stop. You'll ruin your makeup." Steve moved her so she was sitting on the bed. "Let me get changed and we can go back down to the party." Steve kissed her before he went to change into a suit.

"I love you Steve." Natasha whispered and wiped away the mascara on her cheeks. She reapplied her eyeshadow and mascara.

"I love you too Nat. I'll try not to go MIA next time." He whispered and they walked downstairs.

"I thought you are dead. I was told you were dead. I thought I'd have to raise our child on my own. I thought every time I looked at him or her I would be reminded of you and how you never knew." Natasha whispered, tears in her eyes again.

"You're pregnant?" Steve asked as they stood in the doorway to the party.

She nodded and smiled when he wrapped his arms around her waist and spun her around. He discreetly kissed her before setting her down. He looked around and thankfully nobody noticed them.

"Don't ever die again." Natasha said as they walked into the party.

Steve let go of her hand and began to walk away from her, still believing she wanted to keep them a secret.

Natasha ran after him, "I don't want to keep it a secret anymore. I missed you too much and I want to show the world you're mine." She said and slipped his hand into hers.

"I missed you as well." Steve whispered as he led her over to the couches.

"So, Steve. You're not dead." Tony exclaimed drunkenly, waving a bottle in his hand.

"Good observation."

"Are you ok? I mean you were dead for three weeks." Wanda asked whilst nudging Natasha, Who elbowed her playfully in the side and smiled.

"Yeah. No broken bones, thankfully. I have of a couple of gashes but Nat helped with those."

"Did you tell him how you feel?" Tony asked and leans towards Natasha, before he was elbowed by Clint. "What?! He could die again?"

Steve slipped his arm around Natasha's waist and kissed her temple. "Yeah. He's happy that I'm pregnant as well." Natasha said. Wanda smiled and hugged her.

"Wow! He's been here for an hour and you're pregnant." Tony said and took a swing from the bottle.

"Not exactly. I'm about two months along."

"What?!" Clint exclaimed.

"How?!" Tony shouted and Wanda removed the bottle from his hand using her magic. "Hey!"

"Really? You are Tony Stark- Playboy, billionaire, genius, philanthropist and you still don't know?!"

"Shut it Red. Capsicle control your woman." Stark growled.

"No, and back to your question Clint; we've been dating for about a year."

"You kept it secret for a year?!" Clint screeched.

"Yes, now shut up." Natasha said and snuggled more into Steve's chest as he smiled and kissed the top of her head.

They engaged in small talk until Wanda said they should all go to dance. They all filed into the dance floor and the DJ put on a slow sappy song.

Steve held Natasha's waist and she wrapped her arms around his neck, her head resting against his chest. "I love you Steve."

"I love you too sweetheart." Steve whispered and kissed her.

"Mind if I steal your girl for a dance Cap?" Clint asked as the song ended.

"Of course."

"Welcome back Cap." Clint said as Natasha danced with him. "I'm glad you're happy." Clint said, a hand on her stomach.

Natasha smiled and so did Clint, although his was short lived. "Go kill Sharon." Clint hissed and pushed Natasha towards Steve. She saw Sharon twiddling her hair between her fingers.

"Go away before my girlfriend kills you." Steve begged, sending an apologetic look towards Natasha.

"Why would I do that? I'm your girlfriend." Natasha jerked Sharon away and stood defensively in front of Steve.

"Leave. Now. I don't want to get blood on my dress." She hissed. Steve motioned to security.

"What difference would it make, you already have so much blood." Natasha punched her before she could finish and security dragged her out.

"My knight in sparkling silver." Steve wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her against him and kissed her deeply in front of everyone.

Natasha giggled quietly when she felt every female agents eyes on her, each one radiating a more murderous energy than the last.

Steve led her over to the couches where she perched on his thigh. She told him everything that had happened whilst he was 'dead'. "I love you so much." Natasha said and moved to sit on the couch.

"I love you too Nat."

"Come ok guys! The count down is starting!" Wanda shouted.

The couple nodded and Steve got off the sofa.

"TEN!"

He got down on one knee and looked up at her. Everyone turned to look at them.

"NINE!"

"Nat. I love you so much and I'm so sorry about what you went through-"

"EIGHT!"

"I want you to know it will never, ever happen again."

"SEVEN!"

He reached his hand into his pocket and brought out a red velvet ring box.

"SIX!"

Natasha gasped and tears formed in her eyes.

"FIVE!"

"Nat, my love-"

"FOUR!"

"I want to spend the rest of my life with you-"

"THREE!"

"So, will you marry me?"

"TWO!"

"Yes! Yes! Yes!" Natasha gasped and Steve slipped the ring onto her finger.

"ONE!"

Natasha kissed him deeply. "Happy New Year my love." She whispered and kissed him again.

"Happy New Year sweetheart." Steve kissed her before wiping away her tears.

 **A/N: It's been a while since I updated this but I hope you like it. Thank you for all the favs and follows and please leave a review.**

 **Also follow my Insta- Romanogers4eva - for edits! Again thank you!**


	7. Confessions

Tears blurred her vision as she slammed her bedroom door. Natasha slid down the door, her back resting against it, hugging her knees.

How could she have been so stupid? Of course he didn't like the broken, red-head, scarred, Russian killing machine. Of course he like the perfect, blonde girl.

All those smiles, late night talks, fleeting touches and looks were acts of friendship- not flirting. Obviously he didn't love her!

Her shoulders shook with sobs, he wasn't and would never be hers, just like she wasn't and would veces be his. Sharon was his and Steve was hers. Maybe it was for the best, she wasn't good girlfriend material; she couldn't commit.

"Go away." Nat hissed when she felt someone trying to open the door.

"Natasha please." It was Clint. Moving away from the door, she wiped her eyes and opened it.

"Hey Tasha. Why'd you run away?" He asked gently. She ignored him and ran up to hug him. "You ok? Tasha talk to me." The assassin broke apart and Natasha walked púber to the couch.

"I love him and now he's dating Sharon! I thought there was something there!" Natasha cried onto her friends shoulder.

"Tash, Steve looked so upset and hurt when you ran off."

"Really?" Natasha felt her hopes rise, Clint smiled and nodded.

"Of course." Natasha smiled brightly. "Oh by the way, Firy wants you in the briefing room. He has a mission for you." Clint told her.

"Ok I'll make myself look like I haven't been crying over America's golden boy and then I'll be down." She laughed slightly and wiped away her tears.

Clint nodded and left her room.

* * *

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" Natasha screamed, her calm demeanour leaving her, "Please Fury, anybody but him." She wasn't going to spend a month in PARIS with STEVE.

"Romanoff, I understand how you feel about him but you are the best suited to the mission, _and_ you're still partners." Fury told the fuming assassin.

Natasha was about to object again when someone knocked on the door.

"Come in Captain Rogers." Fury called and Steve walked in. He smiled sadly at her before sitting in the chair next to her.

"I have already informed Captain Rogers on the nature of your mission. Your flight leaves at 1:00pm tomorrow. In order to blend in, you will be flying commercial. Hope you're ready." Fury said and handed Natasha the file. "You are dismissed." The pair nodded and left the room.

"Meet me in the hangar at 9:00am sharp." Natasha said sharply.

"Nat." He began gently.

"9:00am sharp Rogers." She cut him off. Steve nodded and walked back to his floor.

"Sharon?" He called, running a hand over his face.

"Yeah?" She replied from the kitchen. Since they'd started dating Sharon had basically moved into his floor- spending most of her day there, although Steve drew the line at her staying the night.

Steve explained that she had to go on a mission to Paris with Natasha for a month. He was surprised when Sharon didn't object, just smirked slightly when she mentioned Natasha's name.

Sharon left his floor before telling him to be careful. Fury had told him that Natasha had a safe-house in Paris and her weapons and his shield had been shipped there all ready.

He packed some clothes, his suit and a med kit- who knew what injuries they could sustain whilst fighting France's biggest drug gang. Sighing, he flopped onto his bed and fell asleep.

* * *

They were seated on the plane and had planned everything out. The first week they would try and get into the gang, the second week Natasha- as much as Steve that fact the woman he loved was doing this- would slip into her Natalie Rushman personna and try to seduce the gang leader. The third week they would slowly begin to cut off their supply, the fourth week they would lead the police to the heart of the gang, hopefully arresting the leader. Steve went over the plan in his head so they could be prepared for any and all possibilities.

He was brought out of his thoughts when he felt Natasha rest her head on his shoulder. He smiled at her and wished he'd asked her out before Sharon called him. He knew there was no way in hell a woman like Natasha would ever feel something for a guy like him.

He knew it was a dick move but now at least Natasha had stopped suggesting women for him to go out with. He turned his attention back to the file on his lap. Natasha started mumbling incoherently in her sleep and Steve smiled. She wrapped her arms around his and Steve stiffened but continued to work.

Seven and a half hours later, Steve was shaking Natasha awake. Her eyes widened and she let go of his arm as she jumped away from him.

"I'm sorry." She mumbled before speeding off the plane. She didn't speak to him until they got to the safe house.

"Nat, are you ok?" Steve asked when they had unpacked and were packing food.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm sorry for sleeping in your shoulder." She paused and smiled shyly at him, "and huggin your arm."

"No, no. It's fine I didn't mind." Steve smiled sweetly and laughed.

Natasha melted inside. She desperately wanted to grab him and kiss the shit out of him. "Good, your shoulder is a good pillow." She laughed to cover her blush. She handed him the spaghetti and shivered when their fingers brushed, wishing Steve felt the same.

* * *

"Nat!" Steve shouted and ran forward to catch her falling body.

"Hey soldier." She said hoarsely. Steve tore the sleeve from his shirt and pressed it against her wound on her hip. "Nat, stay with me." He said and lifted her up bridal style and carried her off to the safe house.

"Steve help me." She said and began to unzip her suit. She whimpered with her movements and tears sprung from her eyes.

"Hey, hey ssh ssh." He went red as he began to underdress her. He fought and won the urge to stare at her but instead he focused his attention on her hip. He started to clean it with tears trying to betray how worried he was, she'd lost so much blood.

Her face was pale and her vision blurry but she knew something was wrong. "Hey soldier. Calm down, I'm fine. I've been shot before." She whispered and put her hands on his to try and stop his from shaking.

"Natasha, I could've lost you." He whispered, voice wavering as he finished stitching her bullet wound up.

"Ha! You can't get rid of my that easily!" She joked, her breathing shaky. She expected a laugh or at least a smirk but instead the man she loved most in the world started to cry.

She pulled herself into a sitting position and cupped his face. She told him to sit next to her and he did. She wiped away his tears and cupped his face again and asked, "Are you ok?"

"I could've lost you. If I had I never would've told you I love you. I never would've." He stopped suddenly and scrambled off the bed.

"Shouldn't you be saying that to Sharon, not me?" She quipped, a smirk on her face when inside she was melting, Steve felt the same. He loved her! What should she do? Say it back or stay silent?

"No, ignore what I just said."

Natasha began to tear up. "No, please don't take it back. Please stay with me." She cried out when he turned his back on her and left the room. "I love you too." She whispered before lying down to sleep.

Steve felt awful as soon as he shit the door to Nat's room. He walked down the hall to his room, changed and fell back into his bed. He grabbed his phone and dialed his girlfriends number.

"Hey babe."

"Hey Sharon. Look I know you're gonna be so bad at me for this but we're over. I'm sorry but I love someone else. I'm sorry." He whispered into the phone, careful of the sleeping Natasha down the hall.

"It's Romanoff, isn't it?" Sharon didn't sound mad, mostly curious.

"How did you know?"

"Because it's obvious! I knew you never liked me, I knew you loved Natasha. I mean come on Steve. Friends?" She asked over the phone and Steve could hear the smirk in her tone.

"Yes, ok. I fucked up though."

"Oh God Steve. What did you do?"

"I told her I loved her." He heard Sharon sigh into the phone.

"And?"

"And I told her to ignore what I said."

Sharon groaned, "You are so clueless. She loves you too. I know it. Tell her how you feel again and apologise. I'll see you in a couple of weeks, hopefully together with Romanoff. Good luck." Sharon said and hung up.

Steve awoke when he felt the bed dip and he heard sniffling. He shot up and looked around for his shield until he realised who it was. "Shouldn't you be resting?" He asked and moved over on the bed for to lie down.

"Did you mean it?" She turned to face him, thankfully she wasn't resting on her injuried hip.

"Yes." He turned to face her after he felt her tap his back.

"Good, because then I wouldn't be able to do this." She whispered and moved her face closer to his. She pressed her lips on his. His lips moved in sync until they broke apart.

"I love you too." She whispered with a smile plastered on her face when he went redder than a tomato. "Earth to Steve?" She chuckled and kissed a over his face.

She only stopped when he replied, "I love you."

Natasha smiled brightly. He pulled her onto his chest, careful of her hip. She buried her head in his neck and he felt her smile against him. "I love you."


	8. Friends

"Well, what do you want me to be?" Natasha asked, hoping he would say something more, something better than the answer she got.

"How about a friend?" Steve asked, hoping she wouldn't see the regret on his face as soon as the words left his mouth.

Natasha scoffed and rolled her eyes, hurt evident in them. "There's a chance you might be in the wrong business, Rogers." He only wanted to be her friend. He didn't want anything more. He didn't love her.

"Nat, come on. Nat." Steve urged her limp body. He pushed the hair out of her dusty face and picked her up.

He avoided the spotlights searching for them and ran towards the borrowed car. He placed her in the seat, his mind whirling. What if she didn't wake up? He couldn't loose her, the woman he loved.

He slipped into the drivers seat and, with one eye on the unconscious Natasha, began to drive as quickly as he could away from the base.

Half way through the drive a hand was on his arm. He pulled the car over and turned to look at Natasha.

"Where are we?" She asked groggily.

"I'm not exactly sure. I'm driving to Sam's house." Steve explained. "Are you ok?" He asked and leant over to check her for any injuries, hating himself for not doing it earlier.

She knew she was fine but she wanted him to check her over. "I'm ok Steve."

"Ok. Should we get some food? There must be a 24 hour diner open." Steve asked and began to start driving again.

She nodded her head eagerly but stopped when it began to throb.

"Nat? Are you ok?"

"Keep driving." She whispered and ran her hands through her hair in an effort to try and find the cut, if she had one.

Steve looked at her through the corner of his eyes and wished it was his fingers in her hair.

Natasha couldn't find a cut in her hair but she knew she would have a bitch of a concussion. "I have a concussion I think. Get me some food and then to Sam's and let me sleep and I should be fine." She whispered and rested her head back on the seat.

Steve nodded and kept driving until he found a motel. "Food." He whispered and shook her awake.

He helped her out of the car and let her lean on his shoulder.

Natasha's eye lit up when she saw the neon '24 hour diner' sign. "Let's go." She said and limped quicker towards the diner.

"Hey. Slow down." Steve told her and grabbed a hold of her waist to slow her.

She scowled at him and, reluctantly, shook off his grip. "I'm really hungry." She told him and grabbed his hand to pull him forward.

Once they had sat down and ordered, Natasha looked over to Steve and smiled. "How far is it to Sam's?"

"Another four hours." He told her and took a sip from his coffee.

Natasha yawned and rested her head on the table. She looked up through the waves of her messy hair that was falling all over her face and smiled, she wanted to be resting her head against is shoulder or chest, rather than the cold table. She blinked sleepily and closed her eyes.

"Chicken and chips. And a hamburger." The waitress said and placed the plates in front of the two. "Is she ok?" She asked Steve and pointed to the sleeping Natasha.

"She's fine. Long day of travelling." Steve explained quickly. "Actually, could we have these as a takeaway?" He asked quickly when another waiter picked up the phone, eyeing them suspiciously.

"Oh um yes of course. It'll be ready in a couple of minutes." She said and walked over to the counter.

Steve slipped out of his side of the booth and into Natasha's. He pulled her onto his lap and picked her up. Subconsciously, Natasha wrapped her arms around his neck and dug her head into his chest.

"Your dinner." The waitress handed him their food.

Steve paid and walked out of the diner. He placed Natasha in the car with their food on top before beginning to drive as quickly away as was the legal speed limit.

"Where are we?" She mumbled as she opened her eyes. "Where's the food?"

"Your spy skills are not the best when you've just woken up." Steve laughed. "It's on your lap. One of the workers was on the phone talking about us. We had to get out of there." He told her and grabbed his food from the bag.

"Thank you Steve." She whispered and began eating her chicken as they fell into comfortable silence.

Steve knocked on the door, hoping Sam would answer. The door swung open just as he was about to give up hope.

"Hey man." Sam said and eyed the the two agents standing in front of him.

"I'm sorry about this. We need a place to lay low." He explained and looked sideways at Natasha. He knew the drive the night before was draining and he knew that she wasn't back to full strength but hopefully she would be better soon.

"Everyone we know is trying to kill us." She said matter-of-factly.

"Not everyone." Sam said and stepped aside to let them in.

Steve looked at Natasha through the mirror of the bathroom and saw her staring blankly at the wall. "You ok?" He said as he learnt against the wall.

"Yeah." She said and Steve couldn't quite believe her, and if she was being honest with herself she didn't believe herself either.

"What's going on?" Steve asked and reached over to hold her hand subconsciously.

Natasha looked up at him softly, did he mean to do that? He looked at her with such care that she wanted to pour out her soul to those eyes, so she did.

"When I first joined SHIELD, I thought I was going straight. But I guess I just traded the KGB for HYDRA. I thought I knew whose lies I was telling, but... I guess I can't tell the difference anymore." She admitted and tears welled in her eyes. She wouldn't cry, she wouldn't show weakness.

"There's a chance you might be in the wrong business." Steve told her and she smiled faintly. He leaned forward and wiped the tears from her cheeks.

Natasha felt her heart flutter at the simple gesture and she wanted to tell him how she felt. "I lo-" she shook her head, he'd never feel the same, "I owe you." She corrected rapidly.

"It's okay."

"If it was the other way around, and it was down to me to save your life, and you be honest with me, would you trust me to do it?" Natasha asked and stared deeply into his eyes.

Steve smiled, a sweet smile that made Natasha want to hug him, and answered, "I would now. And I'm always honest."

Natasha began to laugh and leant back onto the pillows, a beautiful smile on her face. "Well, you seem pretty chipper for someone who just found out he died for nothing."

Steve studied her, letting his eyes travel up and down her body and revelled in the light blush that seared her cheeks. "Well, it wasn't all for nothing."

Natasha laughed lightly and moved forward to sit in front of him. "So, what's so good about this life. We're running from HYDRA and SHIELD and the Government." She told him.

"There's-"

"I made breakfast. If you guys... eat that sort of thing." Sam appeared in the door way.

Natasha glared at him before storming off the bed, she and Steve were having a moment for God's sake!

"Hill, where's Steve? You got a location on Rogers?" She shouted, her heart beating out of her chest. She couldn't see him and he wasn't answering through comms. She forced back tears.

She waited painstakingly long in the helicopter, her eyes trained on the only helicarrier that was still left standing. She saw the bottom of it break of and red, white and blue fall into the Potomac.

She ripped off her head set and, ignoring Fury and Sam's shouts, dived into the water after Steve. She hit the water and pained seared up her arms but she kept swimming. He wasn't dead, he wasn't dead. She kept repeating that until she had dragged his body onto the river bank.

Steve felt someone press a kiss to the back of his hand before he heard someone whispering, "Steve, hey please open your eyes. Come on, you're stronger than him."

He forced his eyes open and looked towards the source of the voice. "Hi." He whispered and laced their fingers together.

Natasha's eyes widened and she smile wildly at him. "Don't ever do that again." She whispered and punched his arm lightly.

"I wont I promise. Also, seeing as I almost just died, I feel like you should know; I don't want to be friends." He told her and immediately regretted it when her face fell.

"I want to be more than friends because I like- no I love you." He admitted.

"You can't. I'm too evil." She objected and hated the words that came out of her mouth. He loved her back, what she had been dreaming to hear for the past year he finally said.

"Nat." Steve said and pulled himself into a sitting position. He meant forward and grabbed both her hands. "I think you love me too. I don't care about your past or anything that happened to you. I care about you and our future together."

Natasha laughed and wiped the tears from her eyes. "I do, I'm sorry I do. I love you too. I have for a while now." She admitted, her voice cracking. She leant forward and pressed her lips against his.

She smiled as they broke the kiss and Steve cupped her cheek. "I love you Steve." She whispered and pulled her chair closer so she could rest half on the chair and half on the bed.

"I love you too Nat." He pressed a kiss to her hair as sleep over took him.

 **So this is what I wanted to happen in The Winter Solider. I hope you all like it and thank you for the reviews favs and follows!**


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